Camino 2017-09-24 Real Rest, Different Guitar

I attended one final mass at Fatima before heading out. There were two other pilgrim backpacks at the back of the Basilica but I couldn't tell for sure who the pilgrims were. After that early service, I went to a majestic grove of olive trees next door, where the sun rose and bathed the field in orange light. I had a tree in mind because of its beauty and form. There a spread some of brother-in-law Tim, so that he can live among these trees and be first in line to talk about peace and restoration.

The bus trip to Coimbra was uneventful. I am largely skipping this walking segment and heading to Porto. I slept and would wake up seeing castles in the mist. Europe is like that, castles popping out for no reason whatsoever.

I got off the bus in Coimbra groggily and was trying to make out the street names when I slipped on a sidewalk that suddenly sloped to make a curb. I scraped me knee and could tell that I would be bleeding soon. I was hoping it wouldn't be a bad one. I started to feel sorry for myself when a young man helped me up. I said I was fine I think, and he smiled and walked away. I happened to be walking in that direction so I followed him. He took a ramp down while I took the stairs. And h wore shorts.

And I could see his false leg.

That made me think the rest of the morning. It's so easy to be inwardly focused when there are so many others with challenges far greater than our own. My first pilgrimage, I went in about me. I came out realizing it wasn't. And on this day of rest, when you have a chance to process what you've experienced, I got a good reminder in the morning.

I checked out the old cathedral which, when I compared to the new cathedral later in the day, turned out quite lovely and interesting. Be sure to ask for your pilgrim stamp I realized because that meant free admission here.

The university was a pleasant visit and it intrigued me that some of it was part of the first Jesuit college. Undoubtedly though to tourists, it's library was the star. Wildly ornate and gaudy, it looked more about wealth and show than substance. Given our current situation at home politically, I felt uncomfortable by this.

I walked down to the river and enjoyed a walk to the parks. I soaked in the laughter and merriment as many were line dancing to Portuguese rhythms. 

Then I caught a Fado show. Fado is a style of guitar music (on a Coimbra guitar) and singing that hints of balladeers and Hawaiians. It was sung and played by men wooing women originally. The unusual guitar is backed up with a regular one creating lovely textures. And I got my first port wine as part of this 10euro show.

I grabbed dinner and was disappointed that what started as a sunny pretty day turned into rain. I had hoped to enjoy a night out. Instead I was going to be resting in my hostal.

And that's good. I needed the rest. Like music, you need the quiet in between the notes.

Camino 2017-09-23 A Day in Fatima

Today was a day of sleep, rest, and prayer. That's pretty much it.

No tourism.

No shopping.

Just me with my thoughts. I prayed on the Valinhos Via Sacra, a remarkably simple nature walk to Aljustrel where the shepherd children were born. I sat and walked, but I had to return. Huge crowds were doing this in the morning in their tourist or prayer groups, and I couldn't move on the narrow path easily.

Which is ironic really. Most Camino pilgrims do it their own way on their own schedule. You can't at Fatima. There's a long schedule of activities going on all day at the various sanctuaries. It's a bit like Disneyland. You get to make your day, but within the proscribed event schedule.

The only thing of note that perhaps I want to share is that I left letters from home at the Chapel of Reconciliation. It's my favorite place in Fatima. It's an indoor-outdoor prayer spot. Mary is the visual focal point. But Jesus is just behind us and that makes sense for this place. If you're in a place where petitions are given, where we ask each other and Mary to pray with us, then the fact that she's staring out to Christ the whole time comforts me.

I did ponder my slight detachment from the devotion. Yes, I enjoy doing the rosary because like Taize, the repetition and rhythm allow me to tap in unison to the heartbeat of a group of people. To be one with them no matter our languages. And yet my love for Mary and communal prayer is always focused on Christ. I can see how non-Catholics view the worship of Mary as an end goal, which is where I differ with some here. To me, Mary is holding my hand, and I hers, as we pray together.

I ended the night again in vigil. It was windy and cold. The procession grew larger, to maybe 20,000 people. And we prayed together.

Camino 2017-09-22 I Want Jesus to Walk with Me

Today threatened to be a tough one. Depending on the trails I find, I could end up with 45km (28 miles)

So I already knew the hymn I needed to focus on today:

I want Jesus to walk with me

I want Jesus to walk with me

All along my pilgrim journey

Lord, I want Jesus to walk with me.

In my trials, Lord walk with me

In my trials, Lord walk with me

When my heart is almost breaking

Lord, I want Jesus to walk with me

In my sorrows, Lord walk with me

In my sorrows, Lord walk with me

When my heart is aching

Lord, I want Jesus to walk with me

When I'm in trouble, Lord walk with me

When I'm in trouble, Lord walk with me

When my head is bowed in sorrow

Lord, I want Jesus to walk with me.

It's a wonderful Gospel hymn that resonates with me. It's yearning for help, accepting of frailty, and yet powerfully committed to moving forward.

I didn't meet any pilgrims today. I perhaps did, hoping to find Jesus walking with me on this road to town. But it wasn't meant to be. And I was challenged. I had stunning views of riverfront farmlands for the first couple hours. This morphed into a more hilly forest walk. About halfway to Fatima I stopped at a church, aired out my feet, and snacked.

And then the uphill climb started. First the temperature swelled to the mid80s. But he uphill trudge through Monsanto wasn't enough. The Camino took you away from the highway for safety: right over a rocky, gravel-slipping trail with thorny plants grabbing at your clothing. And if that natural trial wasn't enough, the trail for a bit ran along side a barbed wire fence.

I stopped every few feet to suck down water and find my balance. Life can be like that don't you get think? Sometimes you just have to make sure you won't fall over.

I reach the top in a far slower time than had I followed the road. I rest at the picnic tables and peer at the town Minde below. Little did I know that I would again have to climb out of this valley on the other side.

I decided to pause to eat and get more liquids. But as I searched for a restaurant, an older woman started chatting with me. She was offering me some apples out of her bag, presumably from her yard. She wouldn't let me say no. So I took one and thanked her generosity, albeit I spoke in Spanish not Portuguese. And then she gave me more apples.

As I neared the top again, I saw windmills. It looked like Alto del Perdon outside of Pamplona, but without the cool statue.

I wanted to see Fatima in the distance but the forest made that impossible. I eventually made it down, found my hostal, napped and went into Fatima sanctuary space.

I won't recount the things I did but I appreciated the occasional "bom Caminho" comment.

I watched the pilgrims who come in on their knees. The congregants did the rosary together.

There's something amazing to me about a multilingual service. Every few minutes, the chant leader would switch out, usually with someone speaking a different tongue, and you'd hear a different representation of the readings. This is such a marvelous way to bind us together.we are one bread one body. It continued that way even into the night at the vigil.

The nightly procession was a good size of 7-10,000 people. It was definitely more organic than the one at Lourdes and that maybe made it feel more intimate. I appreciated the call for commitment, to real reparation, and in doing so find peace and love universal. I think our country could use a little of this right now. But we walked together. 

So it felt like, yeah, I got what I wanted. I got Jesus to walk with me.

One more time

I leave for the Caminho Portugues (Camino de Santiago - Portuguese Route) in less than 6 weeks. This will be my 5th journey into Santiago de Compostela. Instead of walking from Lourdes, France to northwest Spain, I'll be heading north from Southern Portugal.

Some have asked why I keep doing this. I usually suggest that they sit down with my blog posts from the past four years to identify the yearning in my heart that draws me to return year after year.

I walk because I'm hungry. I'm hungry all the time - physically, mentally, and spiritually. With so much to choose from, I still eat poorly. And my body, mind, and spirit reflect the accumulation of these bad choices. Sure, I sometimes eat smartly, resisting cravings, saying I've had enough. And in a few hours, I've forgotten and am hungry once more.

I walk because I'm lost and not where I should be. I'm lost all the time - physically, mentally, and spiritually. In a time of life where I'm told I should be coasting into the sunset, I look around and see that you can't coast downhill when everywhere you look is up a hill, through a forest, into the darkness.

I walk because I am fallen. I fall down all the time - physically, mentally, and spiritually. And in falling down, I now accept that it's ok because feeling hurt, feeling pain, feeling other's pain is part of the fabric of our lives. It's woven deep into our DNA.

So as always, as before, and once again, I walk. I get up, dust myself off, and look to the skies seeking guidance so that my feet are directed in ways that I never expected or tried.

“The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.” ― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

I leave for Lisboa (Lisbon) on a Monday morning. This trip won't be a complete walk along the Camino but will take me from Lisbon to a detour through Fatima. I'll be there a couple of weeks before the Pope arrives to celebrate the 100th anniversary of "The Day the Sun Danced", a miraculous vision experienced by thousands. 

After a couple of nights of prayer, I'll take the bus and walk a section to Porto. In Porto, I'll rest a couple of nights, enjoying a few glasses of port wine (named after this city of its origin) and visiting the many churches.

From Porto, I'll look at the weather and decide what route I want to take. If it's good weather or if it's too hot, I'll go along the coast. If the weather is just too rainy, I'll take the ancient route. I'm leaving it to Providence to guide my journey.

And, after I finish with some time in Santiago de Compostela, I'll spend a few days at a beach, digesting what I've learned, contemplating the people who touched me along the way. It will by then be October, which is also the 500th anniversary of Martin Luther nailing the 95 Theses onto the door of All Saints Church in Wittenberg and other churches. October 31 is called Reformation Day.

Our Lady of Fátima and Martin Luther speak to me as voices of renewal, restoration, reparation. As an Episcopalian, I feel comfortable holding different spiritual traditions in a balanced tension, praying to Our Lady as well as for Church and spiritual renewal.

My prayers on this Camino will focus on peace, renewal, and reparation. But I'm also keeping in mind that I've done this before. I'm trying to release my expectations so that I can keep be open to new things, new life, new visions.

That's not to say I won't keep certain realities and truths in mind.

• I'll meet people who amaze me with their stories.
• I'll try to be open-hearted and generous of my spirit, because each walk gives me more practice to give of myself so that I can receive.
• I anticipate my physical behaviours: that I won't have an appetite because I'm not hungry whenever I'm tired. So I'll have to eat adequately and eat wisely.
• I must accept that I will be trudging in the rain and thus might have blisters.
• I won't be surprised when I feel the presence of the Holy Spirit as She moves through the trees and valleys and me.
• I got by on my basic French and Spanish in the past, but I must humbly accept that I don't know how to speak Portuguese. 
• I will join others who make a pilgrimage to Fatima. I will light candles in prayer for those who've asked me to pray for them or their loved ones. I'll ask for prayers for myself.
• I'll share what I learn, the ways I'm foolish, the light hidden in surprising places.
• And most of all, I know that I'm not alone. And the person in front of me is not alone. And the person behind me is not alone. And whoever is beside me is not alone. For we walk with each other and for each other, in love, as Christ loved us on his journey.

As always, I invite you to walk with me again, to pray with me, to sustain me as Christ sustains me, to seek peace in our world. It's on our mutually intertwined journey that we appreciate that Love moves freely through the universe She created, and that we were meant to be with each other. Like photons speeding through the void of space, we are both matter and light, we can't be pinned down with certainty because that's not what was intended, and we aren't meant to sit in silent isolation. 

Because one more time, your light shines on my journey. You move me like Christ moves me. 

And thus I remember that I'm alive.

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Prior Camino blog chapters (some links will be updated shortly)

• 2016 Camino de Santiago TJ (Camino Frances, leading All Saints Pasadena Transformational Journey, starting in Sarria)
• 2016 Camino de Santiago (Camino Frances, starting in Lourdes)
• Preparing for the 2016 Camino de Santiago 
• 2015 Camino de Santiago (Camino Frances - driving & walking with parents, starting in Lourdes)
• 2014 Camino de Santiago (Camino Frances, starting in Burgos) 
• Preparing for the 2014 Camino de Santiago