Accepting the creases

Sunrise moment of reflection at Alto de Poio, on my 2014 Camino.

I was thinking of the pains we cause each other and the way towards healing is often by taking the road of forgiveness.

It's not an easy map and sometimes it's easier to just carry that pain with you. Like the weight or stone that you carry on the Camino but leave behind at the Cruz de Ferro or any other place along the Camino. You must be ready to relinquish it and set it down, and lose that which burdens you.

It's a great image and it means much to me.

,.

But I'm learning that it's not enough.

A phrase came back to me this morning and it's a good reason why leaving the burden behind you isn't enough. You can't just leave a pain behind and forget it happened.

"You can crumple a piece of paper, but if you unwrap it, it still is covered in creases."

You can't just leave the burdens. You can't just say you forgave someone. If you want to use that piece of paper again, if you want to use your legs and back again after setting down that stone, you have to set down, to forgive, and to accept that things will never return to the way they were before.

Laying down the stone isn't about the stone. Straightening out a crumpled paper isn't about the rolled up wad in front of you. It's about what you wanted to do, couldn't do, and now are ready to do once again. And unless you accept that it will be different, you'll still be limping along.

That's why I walk for peace and reparation. I want to be reconciled, but more than reconciled. I want to be restored, but more than restored. I also want to be repaired. I want to be repaired, knowingly not to my original state, but to a state that gives me new maybe different functions and usefulness and beauty. Rebirth isn't about being born again in your current life. It's about something more, something different, something inspired.

On the walk, I pray for our rebirth as individuals, as a community, as a world where we set down our stones, accept the creases of our past, and see a path of lasting peace.