Let them beat as one - June 25

 I like to be in conversations with people. I enjoy the back and forth. And talking is a part of that dynamic. Sometimes in albergues, the dinners get pretty loud. It’s especially loud when people are communicating in second languages and everyone has to enunciate louder and clearer. Everyone ends up talking over the other rather than just with each other.

Which means if you are NEXT to such a table having an otherwise quiet conversation, it can get tough. This night, we enjoyed our dinner and conversation but much of our talk had to be repeated because of the loudness of the adjacent table. I’m happy that they speak with each other, but it did make it tough for me, with hearing issues, to focus. It seemed like a little quietness would have helped.

But I never want to suppress the conversation. Let it flow! If there were a choice between silence and overly loud talk, I’ll choose talk. We sit at tables with each other, some of whom we don’t know. We are at public dinners partly because we spend much of the day walking in silence. It’s nice to mix. It’s part of the Camino experience.

I have watched some members of my Camino group really getting into meaningful conversations with others. That’s a noise a celebrate. That’s no cymbal clanging loudly to no effect. It’s a sound of two heartbeats synchronizing. Let them beat as one.

Choose slow - June 24

Slowing down was not a normal strategy for me on Camino . Blisters are the only guaranteed way to make me remember to slow down. Physical pain in other words. But I also recognize and advise people to slow down. You have more time to process, more ways to see things, more time to ingest all that you see. 

In some ways, we speed through the Camino in just the same way we go through life. We have limited time, we want to maximize material events, we try to acquire more activities. It’s the temporal equivalent to hoarding things or money. 

But you cannot hoard time. You just end up sitting and waiting. Or you stop taking input sooner, possibly reducing opportunities to learn more, feel more, experience more.

I met Daniel on this stretch 7 years ago. And I wanted to be with him. But he walked very slowly with his crutches. So it meant I had to slow down if I wanted to walk with him. 

I see now that this was a complete blessing for me. He helped me find joy in slowing down. He made it my choice and my choice was for joy.

If I could only remember this every moment of every day. But that’s a work in progress. With luck, I can recognize that with each step, I can choose joy.

Fantabulous Fiesta de San Juan - June 23, 2023

We walked into Nájera fairly quickly and were able to rest before the Fiesta de San Juan. There were multiple meals beside the river and the festival atmosphere was obvious among the residents. We say people walking with kindling wood for the bonfire and colorful outfits. There seemed to be a color-code to the costumes but we couldn’t figure it out.

There’s an odd feeling watching people celebrating and having fun. First, there’s the intent on trying to connect with them. Why is a religious feast day so filled with alcohol and music and bonfires? Then it’s trying to understand just how they are having fun: what do the costumes mean? There’s also a question of why a one day religious observance gets stretched out over a week. 

We sort of felt happy that everyone was having fun but we were also sort of excluded. We walked around trying to enjoy bit it’s hard to emulate that feeling without the cultural context. And that’s ok. It’s not about us.

So here’s the twist. For me, this weekend is an important one for LGBTQ in the USA. This used to be when pride weekend was most commonly celebrated. People get upset about pride parade because they think it’s about bragging. Maybe it should be called “I don’t want to hate myself like you hate me” weekend or “no more lies” parade. The point is, if you’re not familiar with the context, you won’t easily feel the joy, the enthusiasm, and the relief of the celebration. It’s as foreign as a Fiesta de San Juan. It makes you feel left out.

And that’s ok. It’s not about you.

Resty McResty - June 22, 2023

 I used to walk quickly and because of that would just keep walking on the Camino. I would chat with other fast walkers as we continued, pausing perhaps to take photos but not really resting much. I don’t think I judged others if they stopped to rest. I just knew that if I walked slower or slept in, I might be walking in the hot Spanish sun.

It’s different on this Camino. I’m walking slower because of physical necessity. I’m older, heavier, and am more willing if necessary to just grab a bus or taxi if my body gives out. And I pause in the shade to rest. I chat with those who rest by me but often it’s just me. So I hum a little song to myself as I rest, typically a hymn. Lately it’s been “Day by Day: day by day dear Lord of the I pray. To see thee more clearly, Love thee more dearly, follow thee more nearly, day by day”.

And when I do this, I find the rest to be more satisfying. It’s not just a physical rest. It’s also a mental and spiritual break. There’s a lot of processing while on Camino. Interacting with others, processing past relationships and events, exploring new thoughts. It’s wonderful and yet sometimes we need a momentary break. 

We stopped in a small but charming town Navarrete just 13km walk on this day. I had the best pintxo dinner so far here but the day was notable because we disconnected from the pod of people who were also walking the same distances we were. Two of our group continued with the group and are now a day ahead. And that’s awesome because they are deep in relationship with others and want to deepen them further.

We who took the short day now are among a new batch of people. Some we met before. Catherine of Ohio took a rest day in Estella so we got to break bread with her. We found Chrissy of Downey again. But most are new folks to us. We no longer see Timo of Netherlands, Arron of Hungary, Pastor Stewart of Canada, or Shannon of Florida. Maybe we will see then again when they next take a rest day. Maybe not.

Rest can be disruptive and break rhythms. But that’s what it’s supposed to do. Sabbath was given to us and was meant to recognize that rest is needed. I am learning to embrace this and hope to enjoy my rest on this Camino. 

Not enough - June 21, 2023

Walking from Los Arcos to Logroño, I found myself talking with a young man traveling with his family. They are spending a week in Spain walking the Camino before continuing elsewhere. He just graduated from uni and in a couple weeks would start a new job in a new city.

He has dealt with therapists and depression for years. He looks at his life as flawed and that he isn’t doing enough. Isn’t being enough. Isn’t anything enough. He holds himself to a measure that he finds impossible.

I prayed for him. He was enough. He was just walking his family’s Camino and not his own, literally and metaphorically. He did enough, had enough, and was enough for his journey. He and I were on journeys with others, but in the end we walk beside them in our own shoes. I pray for him because his anxieties sustain his depression. And I will pray for him and those who look in the mirror and see the creation of others rather than the creation of God.

Food truck in the middle of nowhere - June 20, 2023

 I love the food truck in the middle of nowhere. It’s about 90 minutes before you reach Los Arcos. The hills are gently rolling by and the crops are amazing. One farm area has now switched to lavender and the scents were divine. 

But this food truck is a true oasis. It offers food and shade and water when you didn’t realize how parched you were. I couldn’t wait to reconnect with this spot. But the truck seemed to be under new management. It was now operated by American and Canadian young women from a Christian non-profit. I wondered if it would be less of an oasis now.

But the food remained. The ice cream was there. The soda was abundant. And most of all, the pilgrims were there. And we laughed. We shared stories during our brief stay. Was it still an oasis in the middle of nowhere?

Yes, and it offered more than water and snacks. It refreshed us with people.

Peter? - June 19, 2023

 The walk out of Puenta La Reina was misty at first. Lovely agricultural land before we hit the steep hill.

But until the rains came, I walked the morning with Will. He had so much going on that he was processing. He’s on his fourth Camino and he talks with everyone. And despite or maybe because of his mindfulness practices, he remembers so much about us.

For example, in the middle of a field, we are walking side by side when another man with a huge backpack walks towards us with a couple dogs. Will watches him and when he gets to us says “Peter?” The man is stunned. He became guarded and said he was but didn’t know Will. As it turns out they were both at a campsite in 2017 on a prior Camino. Peter was on a prolonged Camino after having left Kyiv because of the war.

This ability to remember stories was powerful to me. When we meet people deeply, we get to know them. And they touch us. Will heard Peter. And Peter denied Will. As Simon Peter realized in denying Christ in fear, we too can deny those who touch us or whom we touch.

My walk in the rain for the rest of the day swirled around the ways we recognize each other. I would rather be recognized by my stories than my looks. I’d rather recognize someone else by the way they embrace their own stories rather than what they own or what they wear. And I pray that I never deny the face of God when they come to me in a lonely field.

Magically alive - June 18, 2023

 Pamplona at dawn is like NYC at dawn. Asleep and quiet yet still magically alive.

I fell again, this time hurting my other foot. So I took this frailty to heart. The walk up to Alto del Perdón would be steep so I walked with Deb whose pace complimented my own. So we walked. We talked. We shared stories. The best part was that she too knows how to get you to open up. I could already tell that she was meeting many people and touching hearts.

We reached the top eventually. It’s a forlorn ridge with windmills all along. She and Paula stayed behind for a taxi while Bill, Stephen, and I continued on. To our surprise, we had walked 2.5 hours before a taxi arrived. But they had great talking time and greeted all who arrived at the peak.

After the rainy dinner apart from each other, we met in the library of my albergue Jakue. Eileen, who is a priest, presided over communion. As a fresh new deacon, I served my second Eucharist. In Spain. On the Camino. 

It occurred to me that a deacon’s role is to listen and speak out in the silence of injustice. And that was what the day felt like. A day of walking with people, listening, and if needed, speaking. From the silent streets of Pamplona to the silent trudge up a peak, sharing joys, tears, and troubles in a faithful, holy way- I was alive in the quiet wind. It was dawn in my ministry and all was magically alive.

Falling with the bulls - June 17, 2023

There was beauty and there was beauty. After passing the hydroelectric plant, the river and forest from Zubiri became magical. This is what I remember and loved about this section of the Camino. A swimming hole in particular was enchanting. We waded into the water and gave thanks.

But there was also humility. It reached 91 and the heat winded us. And at one point, I missed a step and fell . Thankfully it was just a messy fall with no broken bones or bleeding. But Julz and Stephen had to help me up because of the angle of the hill. It made me feel frail, as did the heat.

I don’t walk the Camino in a triumphal March. I note that I’m of much of an athlete. You’re reading the words of a nerd. I go on Camino because of the spiritual and personal growth I witness. But still, I wasn’t prepared for saying to myself “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”

We ended the day in a pod albergue then met up with the group for drinks, pintxos, and then churros at Cafe Iruña. We didn’t run with the bulls, but we walked beside all who run out of fear.

It’s not my Camino - June 16, 2023

 We got a little fragmented today. Eileen had to walk to the next town for a place to stay while the rest of us stopped in the village of Zubiri. Jenny and Julz stayed in different spots while the rest of us stayed in Segundo Etapa albergue. But Deb and her broken rib took a taxi from Viskarret which was for the best given the tough rocky trails so day.

I wished we could have enjoyed the forest together more, but that’s the way we are doing this pilgrimage. We each have our own caminos. So it’s not about my preferences but the needs and wants of the others. I want to accompany them as wanted. It’s about trusting their Camino to unfold before them. In the meantime, I just need to be there when called.

Back to the walk.

Lots of cows and streams until we reached some uphill climbs after Espinal. The star of the show though is the fiendish trek down into Zubiri. Over 300m descent via tons of broken rocks. But the bridge into town is as charming as ever. The area transitions from mountain to foothills . Soon we will be in Pamplona and the pintxos beckon . What better way to describe today actually. Bite size morsels where everyone can get exactly what they want. We aren’t here to make them eat one dish but to sample all that we can offer. 

Trust in Breathing

 It was a challenging day. Not just because physically the walk over a mountain range like the Pyrenees can beat up the body. Everyone in this group was grateful that we won’t have another day on Camino as challenging as today. But also because of my emotional struggle with my experiences seven years ago. The cliffs were there but not really as close as I imagined. I wasn’t in imminent risk in those hours where the fog basically blinded me with less than 20ft visibility. There were in fact very few places where you could fall off easily. 

But when you cannot see, when fear grips you, icy peril is all you can sense. It fills your lungs till you cannot breathe. But breathe we must. And if we want to allay those fears, we must trust and breathe in the Holy Spirit, the breathe of life, the rouach. Only when we do so will we find Shalom.

The group of pilgrims met tonight for snacks. I came back from the Roncesvalles mass and found them deep in stories of their lives, their day, the people they encountered. There was a thread about grief. But what I noticed most was a sense of trust. The Camino provides. God provides. If we truly believe that Christ walks beside us, we must trust the shepherd to guide us out of times of anxiety. The group filled my lungs with the warm air of love and trust .

The Camino Provides : June 14, 2023 in Saint Jean Pied-de-Port

The group met in Saint Jean Pied-de-Port last night. What a joy! Have not seen Julz since she stayed over at our home in 2018. We met on the Portuguese Camino.

Today Eileen, Deb, Paula, and Bill head up to Orisson. I pray them safety. And May God open their hearts as they open their eyes to the splendor of the Pyrenees.

Jenny arrived and we four had crepes. Did shopping for tomorrow’s food needs by visiting the Carrefour just a km out of town. Also explored the city walls, the citadel which is now a school, the river walk, snd napped often.

Most importantly, I examined my anxiety. If you recall, my prior walk over the Pyrenees was traumatic. I thought I would die because I could not see the trail through the fog and hail. The weather plunged from 80F in Saint Jean Pied-de-Port to rain and hail above Orisson. I had not noticed the trauma I felt. As we approached tomorrow, I felt increasingly wary.

I didn’t notice that i was still dealing with that trauma. When I didn’t hear from the four who went ahead of us to spend the night in Orisson, I became quite anxious. Thankfully, I was texted as three approached Orisson but had not heard from Eileen since she left Saint Jean Pied-de-Port . 

Trauma does that. It takes your joy and bleeds it from you. You may not know that it’s happening. But the anxiety is real, and it messes with your brain. Especially a brain that’s jet lagged.

So I turn to the song “Nada the turbe” (let nothing bother you) which comes from words of St. Teresa of Ávila. Put your trust in the Camino and in God. The Camino provides, we say. God guides us so that we will always be accompanied.

Eileen didn’t find a room in Orisson but she did get the last bed in the very next place just one Km past that village. The Camino provided and she enjoyed a delicious Basque pilgrim’s menu.

The Camino provides.

Walking through a hospital

I started CPE, which is Chaplaincy Pastoral Education, at a hospital this week in Los Angeles County. As we are just starting out, we first follow the chaplains around the hospital, shadowing and observing their interactions with the patients as they offer non-medical support to the patients. I'll be in this course through the end of the year.

During my hours of shadowing this week, I realized that there was a connection between my shadowing encounters and the Camino de Santiago pilgrimage. This week was akin to my first days of walking my first Camino.

On that first pilgrimage in 2014, I feared that my extroverted personality would find the long walks lonely. How do I encounter God mile after mile all alone? I was told by an albergue (hostel) roommate on my first night in Spain that I ought to take notes about every person I met, because though we all walk our own separate paths, we often would see others the next day or days. If we tended to walk the same distances every day, we would likely stay in the same villages and the same accommodations. We might even become friends. So, I took notes about different people, where they came from, what their stories were. My favorite questions were “What brought you here?”, “What did you hope to find here?”, and “Now that you’ve been walking, has what you’ve been seeking changed?”

It did not take long for me to realize that every person I spoke with, every hand I touched, every smile I shared, every tear that fell on our faces showed me that God was in our midst. God was present because we were present.

This revelation stayed with me throughout that first and all the subsequent Caminos. I no longer feared the quiet. The quiet was the time when I could process these encounters with God. And I definitely needed to process them. I jotted my notes. And when I met people once again, I could remember their stories. There were a lot of people I never saw again. But probably 25% of the people were folks I met previously. This meant that we could grow deeper into relationship. This doesn’t mean that the people I only met once had no bearing on my life or I on theirs. But it meant that our interactions could go even further or in other directions.

An important aspect of my spiritual direction in the past four years has been to grow and love and meet God while at home rather than on pilgrimage in another country. In other words, I need to make my daily life a Camino, a pilgrimage, a journey to find my way. Not just once in a while, but every day. I have been trying to view my life with the grateful and curious eyes that I open as though I am in a different bed in a different town every single morning.

Given that background, I jump to this context in a CPE setting. While talking with a chaplain after one of our rounds, it occurred to me that I had a similar Camino situation regarding hospitalized people. I would meet someone at their bedside instead of a trail. There was a good chance I had not met them before. If I met them, I might ask “What brought you here?”. “What do you hope will happen while here?”, “Have your hopes and plans changed since you’ve been here?” I realized this week that as I walk these hospital corridors, that I am on a new pilgrimage, a new way, a new journey of the heart and spirit. I may sometimes meet people again a few days later; I may never see them again. But perhaps, as we talk, as we spend time with each other, I can touch them and they can touch me. Perhaps we can be there for each other as we move through this thin space, this brief moment in time we have for each other.

And like the Camino, even if we aren’t meant to meet once more, our paths did cross, and we did share. My personal theology sees God as a relationship between Father/Son/Holy Spirit, as Love in creation, as Love among humanity, as Love in motion. Sometimes we must be in motion to be able to walk with God. Sometimes we just need to sit still and listen to what God has to say. So this pilgrimage as we meet our patients isn’t one about fixing anything but about shared journey, of walking beside each other, of knowing that there will be a time we head in different directions. But until we wander away from each other, we have this moment.

Camino of Shalom 2023

It's been a while, but it looks like the pandemic might be easing up just enough so that I can head back to the Camino. Just as importantly, I'll be graduating from Bexley Seabury seminary next year in 2023, so I'm going to want to celebrate with a walk along the Camino Frances from St. Jean Pied-de-Port to Santiago de Compostela.

I'm calling this pilgrimage the Camino of Shalom. Shalom is a word that means peace, but in a much broader, more wholistic way than we think of the word peace. It also implies wholeness, satisfaction, reconciliation. As I finish my MDiv degree, I think this prayerful focalpoint will help me discern how my ministry adapts to my world.

And this Camino of Shalom is open to all! Everyone is welcome in shalom. If you are interested in participating in this pilgrimage, please contact me. We will leave mid-June, starting the walk around June 16. If you wish to walk the whole 800km, join us then. If you wish to meet us and do a shorter walk, we can tell you when and were we are likely to be, as we intend to do 25km per day average - with rest days in Pamplona, Burgos, and Leon - and walk into Santiago de Compostela on July 22.

I will be offering monthly Zoom meetings for those interested. We'll be talking about different topics each month. Our first meeting on May 23 was an introduction. Future meetings will be a short presentation on the topics below followed by Q&A.

• June 20 - Training
• July - Accommodations
• August - Travel to and from and within Spain/France / Insurance
• September - Mobile phones and gadgets 
• October - Learning: Books and Language
• November - Food
• December - Spirituality
• January - Touristy stuff
• February - Meeting people
• March - Music, Meditation, Yoga
• April - WHAT WILL I PACK?!
• May - Health Care / Emergencies 
• June - Bon voyage party!

These are the anticipated dates in 2023:

• Mon June 13 – Leave home
• Tue June 14 – Arrive Spain
• Wed June 15 – Rest Day / No Jet Lag Please!
• Thu June 16 – St Jean Pied-de-Port DAY 1
• Sat June 18 – Walk into Pamplona
• Sun June 19 – Rest Day in Pamplona
• Tue June 28 – Walk into Burgos
• Wed June 29 – Rest Day in Burgos
• Thu July 7 – Walk into Leon
• Fri July 8 – Rest day in Leon
• Sun July 10 – Walk into Astorga
• Tue July 12 – Walk into Ponferrada
• Thu July 14 – Walk into O Cebreiro
• Sat July 16 – Walk into Sarria
• Fri July 22 – Walk into Santiago de Compostela

So for example, if you wanted to join us in Sarria for the final 100km, you could depart from home on July 14, land in Spain on July 15, rest (to avoid jet lag while walking) on July 16 (and meet with us for dinner!), and start walking on July 17 with us.

Hope you can join us or at least follow the blog as we prepare and next year when we walk.

 

Sermons

 Sermons in descending order. Some sermons were delivered multiple locations. 

Locations

WG    

                        Westminster Gardens Retirement Community Vespers service, Duarte, CA

SGLC

                        Saint George Episcopal Church Sunday service, La Canada, CA

SAW

                        Saint Alban's Episcopal Church, Westwood (Los Angeles), CA

ASCP

                        All Saints Episcopal Church, Pasadena, CA

• 13 June 2021 - WG Year B Proper 6 - Mark 4:26-34 (pending)
• 13 June 2021 - SGLC Year B Proper 6 - Mark 4:26-34
• 15 May 2021 - SGLC Year B Ascension - Acts 1:1-11
• 18 April 2021 - SGLC Year B Easter 3 - Luke 24:13-34a
• 21 March 2021 - SGLC Year B Lent 5 - Mark 9:2-9 
• 28 February 2021 - SGLC and WG Year B Lent 2 - Mark 2:1-12
• 24 January 2021 - SGLC Year B Epiphany 3 - Mark 1:14-20
• 3 January 2021 - WG Year B Christmas 2 - John 1:1-9 
• 20 December 2020 - SGLC Year B Advent 4 - Matthew 1:18-24
• 15 November 2020 - SGLC Year B Christ the King - Matthew 25:31-46 
• 11 October 2020 - SGLC and WG Year A Proper 23 - Matthew 22:1-10
• 16 August 2020 - WG Year A Proper 15 - Matthew 15:21-28
• 28 June 2020 - WG Year A Proper 4 - Matthew 10:40-42 (pending upload)
• 29 March 2020 - WG Year A Lent 5 - Ezekiel 37:1-14 (pending upload)
• 25 August 2019 - WG Year C Proper 16 - Luke 13:10-17 (pending upload)
• 24 March 2019 - WG Year C Proper 3 - Luke 13:1-9

 

 

 

Litany for Our Pandemic

The original Litany for the Coronavirus Pandemic has been used with prayer services online as people shelter in place for 6 weeks now in various settings and groups large and small. During that short time - which for many feels like a lifetime - the nature of our prayer needs have changed. With suggestions from my deeply pastoral friend Rev. Peter Huang, I've modified the prayers to reflect where we are today, so that our prayers will remain pertinent

O God, source of life, wellspring of health and wholeness, whose love and grace raina down on all creatures: we cry out to you. Holy God, hear our voices as we struggle with the coronavirus pandemic. Listen to your people with compassion, as we pray for all who may be affected by the virus:

O God the Creator, Maker of heaven and earth,

Have mercy upon us.

O God the Son, Redeemer of the world,

Have mercy upon us.

O God the Holy Spirit, Sanctifier of the faithful,

Have mercy upon us.

For government leaders, and all who can reduce the suffering in our communities, our nation, and the world.

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For first responders and all who serve to protect us.

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For nurses, physicians, EMTs, technicians, social workers, therapists, pharmacists, and all who provide health care.

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For the research and science communities who may hasten the development of vaccines and relief to our miseries.

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For all essential workers who work to sustain us by feeding us, clothing us, keep us connected, and maintaining our basic necessities.

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For hospital, nursing, hospice, palliative, and home care staff and housekeepers who have close contact with the vulnerable;

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For educators and teachers, students, and parents of students now learning at home, as they all adjust to distance learning and for our youth as they work to understand these uncertain times.

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For transportation crews, truck drivers, gas station attendants, and all who must travel and transport people and food and essential products.

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For those stocking grocery stores, department stores, convenience stores, discount warehouses, and all who provide us our food and daily necessities and who are helping us maintain social distance.

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For bankers, store checkers, restaurant cashiers, financial advisors, and all who handle our money;

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For restaurant workers, bartenders, coffee shop baristas, cooks, servers, chefs, dishwashers, waiters, caterers, and food growers and manufacturers as they bring us our basic needs as well as offering us the joys of comforting food.

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For hotel workers, housekeepers, travel agents, and all who make our journeys possible.

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For florists, artists, musicians, actors, singers, writers, poets, and all who fill our lives with beauty and art so that we can be reminded of the wonder of your creation.

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For those who provide us with news, communications, internet, lighting, and electricity so that we may stay informed and find safety during dark times.

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For all who are underemployed or unemployed and live with economic anxiety because of this pandemic.

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For those without food or shelter, struggling to maintain their health in a hostile environment;

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For the poor, the vulnerable, the migrants, the isolated, seniors, all the victims of racism especially those targeted by anger and fear of this disease, and all who need protection;

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For those incarcerated in body and in spirit.

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For clergy, church staff, local and national faith leaders, and all who remind us that we are made in Your image.

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For the lonely, the sick, and those who suffer in mind, body, and spirit, and for those who cannot get adequate care because of the unavailability of medical resources.

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For all who are struggling with COVID-19.

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For all of us who are caring for those with COVID-19

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For all of us who are asked to shelter-in-place;

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain us.

For all who cannot be physically present with their loved ones to share final touches, words, and memories, and for those who cannot grieve together during these times.

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For all who have died of of COVID-19 and their grieving families;

Merciful God, we ask You to grant the faithfully departed eternal life and peace. Sustain and comfort those who grieve.

Almighty God, who has promised to hear the petitions of those who ask in your Son's Name: We beseech you to mercifully hear us who have now made our prayers and supplications to you; and grant that those things which we have asked faithfully according to your will may be granted to the relief of our great need, and to the setting forth of your glory; through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Amen.

Melvin M Soriano

Litany for The Coronavirus Pandemic

O God, source of life, wellspring of health and wholeness, whose love and grace raina down on all creatures: we cry out to you. Holy God, hear our voices as we struggle with the coronavirus pandemic. Listen to your people with compassion, as we pray for all who may be affected by the virus:

O God the Creator, Maker of heaven and earth,

Have mercy upon us.

O God the Son, Redeemer of the world,

Have mercy upon us.

O God the Holy Spirit, Sanctifier of the faithful,

Have mercy upon us.

For government leaders, and all who can reduce the suffering in our communities, our nation, and the world.

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For security guards, police, and all who strive to keep the peace in times of great uncertainty.

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For nurses, physicians, EMTs, technicians, social workers, therapists, pharmacists, and all who provide health care;

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For the scientists, medical equipment manufacturers, toilet paper producers, sanitation providers, and all who may hasten the development of vaccines and relief to our miseries.

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For hospital, nursing, hospice, palliative, and home care staff and housekeepers who have close contact with patients and the vulnerable;

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For truck drivers, bus drivers, train and subway drivers, flight crews, sea captains and their crews, cab drivers, and all who must travel and transport people and food and essential products;

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For those stocking grocery stores, department stores, convenient stores, discount warehouses, and all who provide us our food and daily necessities;

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For bankers, store checkers, restaurant cashiers, financial advisors, and all who handle our money;

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For restaurant workers, bartenders, coffee shop baristas, cooks, servers, chefs, dishwashers, waiters, and caterers;

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For hotel workers, housekeepers, travel agents, and all who make our journeys possible;

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For florists, artists, musicians, actors, singers, authors, and all who fill our lives with beauty and art;

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For those who provide us with communications, internet, lighting, and electricity so that we may stay informed and find safety during dark times.

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For teachers, professors, coaches, counselors, cafeteria workers, custodians, and all who work at schools and colleges;

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For babysitters, daycare staff, family members, and all who teach, watch, and comfort our youngest children;

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For those without food or shelter, struggling to maintain their health in a hostile environment;

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For the poor, the lonely, the vulnerable, the migrants, the isolated, seniors, all the victims of racism especially those targeted by anger and fear of this disease, and all who need protection;

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For the lonely, the sick, and those who suffer in mind, body, and spirit;

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For clergy, church staff, local and national faith leaders, and all who remind us that we are made in Your image;

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For all who want but cannot get tested;

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For all who are waiting for test results;

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For all who have tested positive to the coronavirus;

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For all who are asked to shelter-in-place;

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For all who are quarantined;

Merciful God, we ask You to protect and sustain them.

For all who have died of the coronavirus and their grieving families;

Merciful God, we ask You to grant the faithfully departed eternal life and peace. Sustain and comfort those who grieve.

Almighty God, who has promised to hear the petitions of those who ask in your Son's Name: We beseech you to mercifully hear us who have now made our prayers and supplications to you; and grant that those things which we have asked faithfully according to your will may be granted to the relief of our great need, and to the setting forth of your glory; through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Amen.

Melvin M Soriano

Carry and Roll

Lent is upon us. Many of those who follow this blog will likely know that I'm rather enthusiastic about this liturgical season, this time of pilgrimage to Easter. It's an opportunity for deeper reflection about Jesus and His ministry, His humanity, His cross, His death, His resurrection, His holiness.  Like many of you, I do more reading, more walking, more thinking, more praying.

I'm sometimes asked what I usually do as Lenten disciplines. Many give up things. My husband still likes to give up sweets and chocolates. In addition to taking things on, I do tend to do these two things:

• I don't exceed the speed limit. Weird huh? Speeding is a given in Southern California; when there's no traffic, you zoom ahead. I do this because often times I do so because I'm in a hurry. Except, in truth, I'm not. If I were more considerate to myself and others, I would make enough time to get some place without speeding. And, I do think that my need for speed makes me focus on me and my desires more than on others and their needs. They've got busy schedules as well. So, I stay within the speed limit and work on loving those that pass me by.
• We eat out a few times a week. I try to limit my purchases during Lent. I usually spend around $15-20 including tax and tip when I eat out. So I try to limit myself to eating just appetizers and drinking water so with any money I can save, I can donate to the local homeless services.If I spend only $8, I can donate $12. Donating the cumulative amount during Easter brings this Lenten exercise to life.

So here's something I'll be trying this year. For those of you who recall my posts regarding the Cruz de Ferro, it's a custom to carry a stone along the Camino de Santiago (via the Camino Frances) to carry a stone. (Check out a prior Lenten meditation.) The stone represents anything and everything in your life that weighs you down, that holds you back, that hurts you as it rubs against you. And yet you carry it. Maybe you don't realize how much it's hurting you. Maybe you are afraid to set it down. Maybe you think you cannot live without it. Then, at this enormous iron cross just past Foncebadon Spain, you leave the stone at the foot of the cross. You may have carried it hundreds of miles on your Camino walk, and you finally put it down for Christ to carry.

So I invite you to join me on this practice.

Starting Wednesday, I'll carry a stone with me. I'll carry it everywhere I go. The only time I will put the stone down is during our Taize services, when I will place the stone on the cross. And after the service, I'll pick up the stone and continue to carry it. Whenever I feel it in my pocket, I can reflect on all the things in my life that weigh me down, that hold me back, that hurt me, and pray for the strength to let go of that stone, to leave that stone with Christ, to look forward to the day I can let it go.

And on Easter, like those who visited the tomb on the third day, I'll roll the stone away. I'll put the stone down at the foot of the cross and pray that I do so for all the things I thought about during Lent. And in doing so, I pray that I'll find new life.

So go outside, look for a small stone about an inch long. On Ash Wednesday, pick it up and begin carrying it every moment you're up and about, thinking about all the things that you carry every day of your life. 

If you see me, I'll have extra stones that I can give to you, so ask me.

And we can walk together, knowing that we have our stones, looking forward to the day we can be freed of the stones in our lives.

O Little Laundrymat of Bethlehem

Last night at Laundry Love, I had it easier than normal, as I got assigned an aisle that had fewer washing machines. Over the course of the two hours, I helped out Gigi, Tanya, Randy, Shamika, and Dray. Gigi had her many bags of laundry as usual. Randy needed an extra machine than usual. Dray again had his stuffed in his suitcase and a gym bag.

Because it was quieter for me, I got more chances to chit chat with our guests, our friends. There was the usual "Oh they have Christmas brownies!" and "It's so cold, but not like Michigan" sort of conversations, as well as helping some of the kids play hide and seek. And then there's the simpler stuff.

Mary handed out Christmas cards. She thought that it'd be nice to give our friends cards so she got her church to donate for both lovely cards as well as a small gift card. It was really a nice way to say that we're all friends and family. We all see each other every month doing laundry, so we are in many ways spending more time physically, presently, and intimately "together" than we can do in social media.

I was there when Mary gave a card to Dray. She smiled and laughed as she did so, wishing him a Merry Christmas, before moving on to other guests. I watched as he turned the envelope over this way, then that way, quietly looking at the pretty envelope before opening it, carefully, making sure not to tear the card inside. Then he broke his silence.

"It's so nice that I get a Christmas card this year."

I looked at his face rather than his hands at that point, and he was clearly touched. "This year?", I thought. "This year?" Images of the cards we've been getting the past couple weeks flashed through my head. And when he pulled the card out he smiled a wide grin that said so much more than I could say here. And he was more than surprised to see the gift card, saying "Oh that's so nice. So nice."

Doing Laundry Love always has lovely moments, and I cherish them. But last night, I felt the tears flow down my face. And when Mary walked towards me again a few minutes later, I shared with her what had happened. And we hugged.

No gift is too small. No present is complete without our presence. Every slip of paper, every smile, every gesture can touch someone in ways we might never expect. Those surprises don't have to be only on Christmas. The gifts of love we share this time of year are just reminders. Love is present and manifest in our lives every day, every moment. We are awash in love. We just forget it most of the time.

May this Advent, this waiting for the gift of limitless love, wash over you, surprise you, touch you. Let your life and actions be tiny little Christmas cards to everyone you meet.

Advent reflection: Enter and Share

I saw a lovely commercial this week that uses Christmas as part of the story. It's a 2016 Polish advertisement for a company that teaches English

"English for Beginners"

It's a wonderful tear-jerker of an ad with more than a few jokes. Even the stronger language moment got a laugh because of the charming main character, Robert.

It got me to appreciate Advent a little bit more, as well. For during this season, we are starting to sit and think about Christmas, about what was happening with Mary and Joseph, their fears and trials, their confidence and trust. And most of all we await the coming a little baby, Jesus, who will change our lives forever.

Are we ready? Have we taken all the steps necessary? Are we ready to take some risks?

This commercial shows someone who prepared, someone who got ready, someone who took a risk regardless of his age.

He wanted to enter another person's world. To be present in that world, foreign as it might be. And he wanted that world drawn closer to himself. So he needed to talk, break bread, offer wine, share stories. Stories of our roots, of where we came from, of our dreams, of our love.

It's a good reminder to me that Christ will be coming soon, to be present with us, incarnate among us, all of us, in our world, living as one of us. So share stories in Christ's name. Share stories of our roots. Share stories of where we come from. Share stories of our dreams, our love, our Christmas together.

A Prayer on Fear and Abundance

Gracious God help me.

I fear scarcity. 

I forget the abundance that surrounds me.

I fear of going without food, hence I eat far too much and end up with body image battle scars. 

I fear of not having enough money, which I've had to deal with for most of my life. 

I feared of not getting enough love, which only shows my blindness to the endless love that surrounds me. 

I fear of getting physically and emotionally hurt because I look different, love differently, empathize differently.

Holy Spirit, help me release these fears. Help me release the anxiety about my life, about what I will eat or what I will drink, about my body, about what I wear. Remind me that life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Point me to the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet You feed them. Remind me that my anxieties will not add my name to the book of life, nor add a single hour to my life. Take my feet to the lilies of the field, to see how they grow, how they neither toil nor spin, and abound in beauty and life. Breathe your strength in me and through me and around me so that I may place those fears into the soil, where they can feed my already abundant life rather than bury it.

Sermon: Healing 24x7

The following is an excerpt from a sermon delivered on August 25, 2019. The Gospel reading was Luke 13:10-17.

On a Sabbath Jesus was teaching in one of the synagogues, and a woman was there who had been crippled by a spirit for eighteen years. She was bent over and could not straighten up at all. When Jesus saw her, he called her forward and said to her, “Woman, you are set free from your infirmity.” Then he put his hands on her, and immediately she straightened up and praised God. Indignant because Jesus had healed on the Sabbath, the synagogue leader said to the people, “There are six days for work. So come and be healed on those days, not on the Sabbath.” The Lord answered him, “You hypocrites! Doesn’t each of you on the Sabbath untie your ox or donkey from the stall and lead it out to give it water? Then should not this woman, a daughter of Abraham, whom Satan has kept bound for eighteen long years, be set free on the Sabbath day from what bound her?” When he said this, all his opponents were humiliated, but the people were delighted with all the wonderful things he was doing.

What a coincidence for me to come here to talk once again about Luke 13. You see, the last time I was here, I discussed the earlier parts of Luke 13, a passage about repentance. I talked about how repentance is our chance to put down the stones in our life that burden us, so that we can finally pay attention to all the signs guiding us to see and feel and taste and hear the loving, grace-filled God who created us. The passage focused not so much on punishment but instead the chance we have right now, at every moment, to accept the invitation of living in a love offered without condition.

Today, 5 months later, we continue to read the next passage with verses 10-17. We hear about a woman, bent over for a couple decades. It was as if she were possessed by an evil spirit. Jesus sees her at the synagogue and brings her healing. Unfortunately, this was on the Sabbath, and well you’re not supposed to do work on the Sabbath. It seems that what he did could be considered a problem by religious authorities who saw the healing as work.

I’m sure you’ve heard lots of discussions about this and we can see why Jesus feels it inappropriate to classify healing as work. I doubt any of us here would disagree with him. Those who saw him doing this could have kept quiet but instead complained about his actions.

We’ve all been in situations where we or someone we love has been sick or in the hospital. Imagine if we were told that the hospital was closed one day of the week. How outrageous is that? We wouldn’t stand for it. But that’s what the critics are saying. Jesus does not hold back at all. He starts off by calling them “hypocrites”. He’s not shy and his defense of his healing ministry is hearty, heartfelt, and heartwarming. He’s on the side of those of us who suffer and there’s no question of that in this passage.

It’s interesting that this story comes right after the parable about repenting. That’s because they’re related. In that reading, the trees that don’t produce could have been chopped down. In fact, that’s what was assumed. They’re not worthy to take up expensive water resources, take up space in our gardens, to warrant our attention. They’re lives don’t matter so just cut them down. But the gardener suggests that they be given time to change. And not just given time. They’re given time so that they could also receive the encouragement, nourishment, and feeding that they need so that they’ll flourish and grow, to be what they were intended to be. They were given the chance to be changed, to be healed, to grow. I think it’s no coincidence then that we go directly from the passage of the dormant trees to a story of healing.

I’m imagining this woman, bent over, like an old tree, in the synagogue. She was probably like many, just coming to hear Jesus teach. She probably stayed in the back, in the shadows, not wanting to be in the way, not wanting people to notice her physical condition. Now the Gospel indicates that an evil spirit plagued her and that’s what caused her condition. She was bent over. Literally, according to the Greek translation, tied up in knots. So I imagine that she would be trying to hide this. Or that people would be avoiding her. Isn’t that what most people do? Wouldn’t most people shift away a step or two if they noticed someone bent over, maybe talking with themselves, maybe not talking at all?
She stood in that synagogue, coming to learn and to pray most likely. There’s just no indication that she asked to be healed. Why is that?

Perhaps she didn’t know much about Jesus yet. Perhaps she didn’t trust him as a healer. Perhaps she thought herself as someone who didn’t matter, and could merely listen and leave unnoticed. Many people who struggle with illness for many years begin to feel hopeless about their lives and conditions. They wait for their turn to be chopped down. She may have felt it pointless to bring up this condition to Jesus.

And yet Jesus saw her. He knew she was there and he knew she needed him. It doesn’t appear in the Gospel reading that they spoke. She never asked him to heal her. Never. He just went up to her. She maybe didn’t even realize what was happening, since she was bent over. She probably was listening to him as she stared her feet when suddenly she hears him say, “Woman, you are set free from your infirmity.”

It must have filled her with awe her to hear those words. Do you have something that holds you back? Disables you? Cripples you like an evil spirit? So many of us have felt broken at some point in our lives, perhaps as we sit here. I know I have. Imagine the shock of Jesus coming to you and saying that you will no longer be broken. That we are being set free. That the chains that have bound us for so long are finally coming off.

I’ve had moments in my life that felt like this. And it’s an incredible feeling. To think that you’re destined to live with something that breaks you -- whether it breaks you physically, mentally, or spiritually – to think that you’ll suffer with this forever and then, without asking, Jesus just comes and tells you it’s time to stand up straight. That you’re fine. That he comes to you unbidden to be a salve to your wound.

What a powerful point Luke makes in this passage. Luke – the Physician Evangelist - is saying that healing comes even without asking. All we have to do is show up, be present, and be in relationship with Jesus, to be open to hearing Jesus’s teaching. That healing will pull our eyes from the ground and allow us to look at Jesus straight in the eyes and be grateful. Like the woman in the gospel, we can give thanks to God.

This didn’t satisfy those who monitored the Sabbath rules. They were quite upset by what happened. You could say they were for some time tied up in knots over Jesus and his healing ministry. OK, so technically, the Sabbath rules may have been broken, but they are really our rules. They’re of this world. They weren’t centered around God. The Sabbath after all was given to us so that we can be focused on God. Focus on God in our lives, focus on God’s gifts, and focus on ways we can be thank God for the gifts of life. The Sabbath is all about God.

Rules that would deny healing on the Sabbath deny the reason for the Sabbath. The rules are about us but the Sabbath isn’t about us. If God can come down and heal the sick, let us give thanks. We can’t constrain God. God can heal anytime, any day, 24x7. And if God can take a broken woman, break the ties that bind her, and make her stand up straight at any time, then she and all of us can truly celebrate the Sabbath and praise God, praise God, praise God.

There are a few Scripture passages where Jesus asks “Who do you say that I am?”. There were different hesitant answers, from “dude you’re Elijah” or “Sorta like John the Baptist?” before Simon Peter says that “You are the son of the living God”. These answers are sort of theological, but I think that the woman in Luke 13, like many Jesus touched, would simply say “You are the One who healed me”.

At the end of the day, aren’t we – to some degree -- all bent over? Aren’t we staring at our feet, wondering if our pains and anxieties will ever be eased? Shouldn’t we stretch out and put ourselves in a place where we can listen to the teachings of Christ and find healing in his presence?

We don't have accept brokenness, in ourselves, in our families, in our communities. Not if we can pay attention and listen. And when we see that we’re in the presence of God, we can straight up and notice that there’s much to be grateful for. We can put down all that burden us and celebrate and praise God on any day, every day, 24x7. And like the Good Healer, we can find our neighbors in the back of the room, and bring comfort and healing to those in our midst who hunger for a life made new.

Youtube recording (sorry about the skewed camera angle!)

Lavender Fields Forever

I've wanted to see the lavender fields of Provence since French I in eighth grade. I recall some of the photos in the text book and the beautiful farms captured my imagination. It wasn't until a backpacking trip in the 1980s during my college years that I got to the region Provence-Alpes-Côte d'Azur. Unfortunately, the lavender wasn't in bloom. And on a subsequent visit, the timing was off as well. No flowers. Not on those visits.

So when our vacation saw us going through the area of southern France, the stars finally aligned and we made sure to rent a car for a drive from Nice to Avignon. I was eager, oh so eager, to finally see these fields and flowers. Perhaps picnic in the fields.

The Alpine mountains come so close to the fields. We were curving this way and that, around farms, around lakes, around rolling hills. We were enjoying the splendor of creation.

Soon, we got our first hint of lavender. You'd think it was in the vast expansive fields that we saw the plants. But it wasn't the sight of lavender fields that we encountered first

We started to smell lavender.

The scent of lavender started to seep in through the car vents. At first the smells were mild, and soon they got stronger, filling the car. We didn't realize what we were smelling at first, but eventually we finally figured it out. What a charge to realize what was happening!

The views soon arrived and they were remarkable. Our eyes were filled with wondrous visions of purple waves. The sun washed the flowers out in the open, the rays streamed through leafy trees onto the plants in sleepy shade, the stores and farmhouses offered bountiful products all made of lavender. We feasted on the floral wonderland.

And it was more, so much more, than just a visual delight. The scents continued to grow ever stronger. In fact, everywhere we went, in any building, in any church, there was refreshing lavender wafting through the air. Normally I'm ambivalent to lavender perfumes, but this was so fresh, so clean, so alive. I was bathing in the lavender from eyes to nose and I was lost in the beauty.

Soon we arrived at a 12th century Cisterian abbey, the Abbaye Notre-Dame de Sénanque. To this day, the monks cultivate fields of lavender surrounding them in their secluded and stunning valley. When we went, they had already harvested the fields closest to the abbey but the fields further out were still in full bloom.

While walking around the grounds, we heard the bells ringing out, inviting us all to attend the church at the abbey. Normally, I'd jump at that invitation and enjoy the welcome. But this time I didn't. We stayed outside the church.

We stayed out, because we were already in church, the church of the world, with pews of purple after pews of purple. Purple is traditionally the color of Advent, of waiting, of repentance in the church. I saw the world draped in purple inviting us to change, asking us to welcome the hope of life. I didn't need to leave all that to go inside a church to be in church. I just needed to recognize that the wonder and awe surrounding me were gifts, gifts for me and for all, so that I could say "thank you, thank you, thank you".

Did I hear a sermon out in those fields? Yes. Yes I did. It sounded like "buzzzzzzzzz". You see, bees are needed to help the lavender bloom and let me tell you there were bees. Everywhere you smelled the lavender drifting in the wind, and everywhere you heard the light buzzing of the bees, spreading life around as they bounced from flower to flower. It was life preaching in a non-stop voice. And it was hard to resist saying "Amen".

As our visit came to a close, as the sun started to settle down, I smiled at the uncountable joys I saw, smelled, and heard. The flowers were soft to the touch and for those who wanted to taste, every conceivable food product was on offer with lavender flavors. It was intoxicating and like the wind of the Holy Spirit, it flowed through me with each breath, with each blink, with each smile.

My visit was short, but the lavender fields... the lavender fields are forever.

Separate journeys, Shared Destination

2014 Camino de Frances - on the meseta heading towards Sahagun

At one point a week ago, I had three friends walking the Camino: One was on the Camino Frances, one was on the newish Camino Invierno, and one was on the Camino Norte. The Camino Invierno and Camino Norte overlap a little with Camino Frances in various places. Three different trips by three different friends. Three separate journeys, several shared intersections, with one shared destination.

And I have several more friends or acquaintances going this summer and fall. A group of friends is on pilgrimage to Lourdes, which I last visited as part of my 2016 spring camino and was its starting point. And I myself will be walking on short segments of a couple pilgrimage routes this summer. The need to walk and find wholeness "out there" moves powerfully in the people who I know. If I'm asked for tips, there are the normal ones about learning a few key phrases if in a different country (Where is the bathroom? Left? Right? Numbers.) and places to sleep. But I also have a few that are less specific, more guidelines than specific suggestions.

The four guidelines are below. And, whenever I share them, I realize that they apply not just to the pilgrimage on the Camino but to life in general. To our journey on this planet home.

* Listen to your heart. If it says stop in this village, go on to the next, catch a cab - do it. It's your camino. Embrace it. Don't resent or regret it. Love it.

* Listen to your body. If your feet say they hurt, don't power on blindly. Take the shoes off, put on a new pair of socks that feel fluffy and nice (something I recommend if they are hurting because the new dry socks will limit/avoid blisters), massage them, rest a spell. If you have a headache or are dizzy, rest a spell. If your back hurts, put the pack down, rest, and adjust the backpack settings or move the weight around until you feel comfortable enough to continue. Your body knows you need rest better than your mind knows.

* Listen to the earth. If the stream calls you, pause and sit beside her. Dip your feet into the cold invigorating water. If the sunrise or sunset asks you to stop and see, then stop and be grateful. If the chestnut and apple trees and the wild grape vines are dropping fruit at your feet, accept them and share them with other pilgrims and the horses and those who thirst and those who hunger.

* Listen to what called you there in the first place. You'll see litter. You'll hear complaining. You'll find busy restaurants, noisy albergues/hostals/hotels/homes, confusing road signs, tired voices. And you may be feeling similarly. Accept your reactions and remember that you are on this trip because you felt a tug, a call, a voice that invited you to come. When negative emotions or doubts come to you, remember the invitation and have a conversation with the calling voice.

As summer approaches, may you find rest on your journey. I'll be grateful if our paths cross on the same day; I'll be grateful if our paths cross but we miss each other by minutes or days or weeks. May we head towards where we dream and remember from where we came.

http://www.facebook.com/groups/CaminoOfHealing

In the Wounds of Manzanar

I'm feeling something today. I was on a pilgrimage to the Manzanar National Historic Site with folks from church and the diocese to remember all the Japanese American families that were forced to sell their possessions and move into internment camps. Up to 120,000 men, women, and children were imprisoned for up to 4 years for no other reason than they had at least one great great grandparent who was born in Japan.

I walked around feeling such tremendous sadness and outrage. I couldn't imagine what it must have felt like to have dust blowing into the barracks relentlessly. Or having no privacy in the bedrooms or in the bathrooms. These folks weren't soldiers. These folks weren't convicted of any crime. They were just feared not for what they did but for what they looked like.

I kept thinking about what it must have felt like for them all. How do you forgive and reconcile with people who are oppressing you? Where's the grace? Where was God?

So I kept searching. Seeking. I couldn't believe that God could be here.

And then we stumbled upon an artificial pond, made of stones and cement. It had two wings, sort of like angel wings, with a bridge crossing over. On one side was a rudimentary, primitive stone lantern made of rocks from the area. Lovingly, the lantern lined up with the bridge, which lined up with a path that went off towards a mountain. And the lantern was built to look like that mountain.

The soil was hard. Hard as the hearts of the government and soldiers who imprisoned all these innocent people. Flinty as the people who turned their backs to the plight of the "evacuees" who were collected and concentrated in these camps. Dry as the faces that could no longer cry as their families were torn apart.

And in these wounded grounds, the people built gardens, and ponds, and serene spaces filled with sacred quiet. In these painful voids, they found God, unearthed beauty, raised up life-affirming inspiration. And I sensed what it felt like to have the the Holy Spirit comfort and inspire you. And I sensed what it felt like to believe that there was hope.

This wrapped around me as I contemplated the Gospel reading for this Sunday. We read once again the story of Thomas, aka Doubting Thomas, and his transition from doubt to belief.

Now Thomas (also known as Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” John 20:24-29

On the long bus ride back, I pondered the scripture from a different perspective. I thought, what if the wound that Thomas explored wasn't just in Christ? What if he was exploring the wounds in himself? In his side, in his hands, in his heart? What if Christ wanted us to touch our own wounds as well as his? That in touching all these wounds, we can believe in God?

And in doing so, in feeling those wounds, in reaching our hands into the places that we protect from painful touch, in caressing these sacred places, we can believe that Christ is present. We can believe in his miracles. We can believe that our inspiration for healing, our Christ, showed us the path into our bodies so that we can find our own healing. Our own miracles. In exploring the wound, we can remember what our bodies are made of, what we are made in the image of, what we need to be made whole.

And with that thought, I remembered the pond. That in this wounded place, someone touched the ground and created a place for healing waters to flow. And with the water flowing into the pond, inviting even more life - birds, squirrels, rabbits - to come, rest, and heal.

We don't have to demand to see the wounds. They're all around us. Sometimes the wounds are wildly painful like at Manzanar. Sometimes they are wounds that only we know. May we touch these wounds - invited by Christ to see that they are real, invited to believe in his healing presence - and discover the grace of God in the most unexpected places.

The Pilgrim and the Tourist

Two things this month have caused me to write this. The first is the disaster at Notre Dame. I've touched upon that in my prior post "Sacred Spaces".

This Saturday, I'm helping out a diocesan group - "The Gathering: A Space for Asian-American Spirituality" - and All Saints Pasadena's Transformational Journeys as we head out to Manzanar National Historic Site. Manzanar is located in a desolate area of California, in the Owens Valley, about 230 miles from Los Angeles. And, it was one of 10 internment camps in the USA, where upwards of 120,000 people of even 1/16 Japanese blood were sent. The definitions of internment camp and concentration camp were historically identical until the Nazis horrific acts caused concentration camp to be linked with extermination camps.

As I prepare for this pilgrimage, and it's a special one as this will be the 50th anniversary of annual pilgrimages to Manzanar, I was asked to share a reflection with the group. The topic is one that I've pondered often, the difference between a pilgrim and a tourist. We are heading to Manzanar as pilgrims. I've done many pilgrimages. I've been a tourist many times. And they aren't the same thing.

Julz of Australia from my 2017 Camino Portuguese
reflects on our long walk. We broke bread many times
on this pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela, with
lots of laughter, tears, and stories. Even our swim
to waterfalls on the walk here felt holy

Oh, I take photos on both. I laugh, share stories, linger, purchase trinkets and memorabilia, meet strangers, take selfies on both types of journeys. I sometimes have to grab a group or bus or listen to guides because I need the experienced person to explain what I'm seeing.

But they are different. And - I am adamant about this - it's not a judgment to be one or the other. A pilgrim is not better than a tourist nor the tourist better than the pilgrim. I distinguish the two because it helps us to know how to approach a destination. Whether we go to a cathedral or to a secular spot, we can approach it with a better understanding of what to find and what to anticipate. On a visit to a new city, I can be a pilgrim at one or two locations and a tourist at all the others.

Here are some ways that the two differ to me.

	Pilgrim	Tourist
Focus	The destination	Yourself at the destination
Expectation	To be changed by the visit	To see sights and learn from the visit
Common Activities	Sit and absorb, perhaps skipping some of the popular or common sights to see, not making a long checklist	Take the various sub-tours, read all the posters and signs, make sure to hit the checklist of activities and things to see
Preparation	Read about the facts and stories	Read about the facts and stories
Change	You want to be changed or to know yourself better	Change isn't an issue
Visiting the World Trade Center	You had a relative or friend who died there on 9/11 and are grappling with issues about life	You want to pay your respects
Visiting the Vatican	You're a Roman Catholic. You want to confess, go to mass (often), pray.	A huge basilica, a square, history, spectacular art,and Swiss Army guards
Visiting the Golden Temple in India	You're Sikh. You want to pray and help feed the 50,000 people who eat there daily.	You want to see the temple and watch the 50,000 people who get fed there daily
Visiting the Louvre	Get a pass and go multiple days because art is in your blood and this place is everything	Mona Lisa, Winged Victory, Venus de Milo, Law Code of Hammurabi, Gabrielle d’Estrées and Her Sister
Visiting the Grand Canyon	You care deeply about water and land conservation, Native American culture, natural beauty, creation	You care deeply about natural beauty and hiking
Your local place of worship	You want to be transformed, pray, give thanks, be willing to be uncomfortable.	You want to meet your obligations, hear good music, raise your kids right, be comfortable
When you return	You know yourself or life better	You are the same, perhaps better informed
Schedule	Schedule isn't as important as time to process and internalize what is seen	Schedule is important to see/do as much as possible
Sacred land	The site is sacred and is respected	The site is respected
Result	Transformation	Information
Passing through	The destination passes through you	You pass through the destination
Not quite what you imagined? Construction?	Not a distraction	Disappointment

Let's take an example using that well known phrase "It's not the destination; it's the journey". When you're a pilgrim, the destination does matter. You're going to a place that holds deep meaning to you and you want to be transformed by it. The preparation for it is important because you want to be ready for transformation. When you're a tourist, you look forward to the destination because it's something you've wanted to see and learn about; you prepare because you want to make sure you see everything you wanted to see and not find yourself disappointed if you miss something.

Lately, I accept that I enjoy my tourist visits to places AND that much of my life has been a pilgrimage. I may forget that it is, but I remember that it is a pilgrimage much more often than before. I will always be a tourist to new places. But I am rarely surprised when I find myself transformed by certain journeys.

The pilgrim accepts blessings for their journey because there's some fear there. Will your heart be open to transformation? Will you be afraid of what the changes are asking of you? Will you accept the ramifications of change?

With that, allow me to again share "For a Traveler" by Father John O'Donohue.

Every time you leave home, Another road takes you Into a world you were never in. New strangers on other paths await. New places that have never seen you Will startle a little at your entry. Old places that know you well Will pretend nothing Changed since your last visit. When you travel, you find yourself Alone in a different way, More attentive now To the self you bring along, Your more subtle eye watching You abroad; and how what meets you Touches that part of the heart That lies low at home: How you unexpectedly attune To the timbre in some voice, Opening in conversation You want to take in To where your longing Has pressed hard enough Inward, on some unsaid dark, To create a crystal of insight You could not have known You needed To illuminate Your way. When you travel, A new silence Goes with you, And if you listen, You will hear What your heart would Love to say. A journey can become a sacred thing: Make sure, before you go, To take the time To bless your going forth, To free your heart of ballast So that the compass of your soul Might direct you toward The territories of spirit Where you will discover More of your hidden life, And the urgencies That deserve to claim you. May you travel in an awakened way, Gathered wisely into your inner ground; That you may not waste the invitations Which wait along the way to transform you. May you travel safely, arrive refreshed, And live your time away to its fullest; Return home more enriched, and free To balance the gift of days which call you.